Empathy and Compassion

“True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason.” ~ 14th Dalai Lama

Empathy burnout is a real thing. Interestingly, compassion burnout, is not.

Empathy and compassion are two different things. Empathy is feeling the pain of others. Compassion is cultivating the intent to do something about it. Empathy lights up just a couple of places in our brains, but compassion is much more of a whole brain activity.

Imagine a mom with a screaming infant. Imagine that connection between child and mother, and how deeply that mom must be feeling the unhappiness of the screaming infant. If the mom stayed in that empathetic space, the screaming would be intolerable. Instead, the mom begins thinking about what must be wrong – dirty diaper? Hungry? Sick? That desire to sooth the suffering of the child actually PULLS the mom out of that painful place, and in doing so, soothes the mom’s mind so that she can more clearly focus on relieving the child’s suffering.

Now clearly, sometimes a mom just can’t figure out what’s going on – so perhaps she just holds the crying infant, walking with it, whispering in it’s ear, humming a tune. Even that very basic action of trying to soothe the child will bring relief to her – and eventually, the child.

How does this help us? If you’re feeling that “empathetic burnout” at work or at home, check and see if you somehow got stuck in that empathetic space of feeling what the other is feeling. Jumping into the compassionate space of creating an intention of relieving suffering can cool down that overheated empathy space.

And just like the mom, there are always times that we don’t know how to relieve suffering, or sometimes the suffering is so overwhelming we can’t see our way through it. Remember – it’s totally ok to create an intent to relieve your own suffering. Figure out what you need to do to get some space. Cool down that empathy engine!